Reframing Uncertainty

Non-attachment and embracing the unknown

It was October 1 of last year when I hopped on the longest flight of my life, to a place I knew absolutely no one, with no planned return. I had just spent a month in New York with my family and some of my oldest, closest friends, and then my final weekend in the States reuniting with my best friends from college. The day before taking off from San Francisco to Sydney, I started to feel incredibly nervous. My internal dialogue started pestering me with all of the self-doubt…“what are you thinking, why are you leaving everyone and everything you know and love for a place where you don’t have a job or a set place to live? And you don’t know anyone there? You’re probably going to be lonely and you aren’t even good at yoga. What’s gotten into you, this isn’t like you?” One thought spiraled into the next causing chaos in my mind, and choking back tears in the car and at the airport as I spoke to my friends and parents before my flight. My fear of uncertainty took over for about 24 hours.  

The funny thing about uncertainty and the fear that surrounds it, is that for the most part, there is no actual threat. No real issue. As my mind was spiraling in those moments and my nervous system was activating it’s fight or flight response, in reality I was safe. I was still in San Francisco with my friends, my feet were planted, and I had a framework of structure set up for the coming 6 weeks - a friend of a friend to stay with when I first arrived, yoga teacher training would start in two weeks time, and enough savings in my account to be able to live comfortably for a good bit.

Through a deep dive into practicing yoga and continuously embracing changes and uncertainty over the past months, I’ve been practicing the yogic philosophies of consistent effort and non-attachment that come from the foundational text of yoga philosophy, the Yoga Sutras of Patanjali. Non-attachment refers to removing the association of our worth to the outcome of a situation, on the yoga mat and in our lives. In those moments of fear and anxiety before leaving for Sydney, I was attaching myself to the outcome of what would or wouldn’t happen when I got there and where my life might lead because of this decision. Attachment can be crippling and is what leads us to cling to what we view as stability.

It is a natural human tendency, but the problem with clinging and trying to control external factors is that unfortunately, we just can’t. We can’t control anyone else, or the way things will unfold. We can’t control the way someone reacts to us, if our phone service works, if the guy or girl will text us, or if we will get that job offer. As much as we may try to fight it, everything is out of our control except for our internal worlds and our consistent effort. We are in control of the way we treat ourselves, the way we carry ourselves, and the way we choose to interact with the world around us. The beautiful thing about embracing the uncertainty of non-attachment is that more often than not, when we are consistent in our effort, the outcome we had been wishing for happens one day with grace and ease, or something even better comes our way.

When dealing with uncertainty, I always think back to this quote from Big Sean on an episode of On Purpose with Jay Shetty:

“When you have faith, it is like an invisible bridge that you can just walk across…You don't see how you're going to get across, but you know it's there. You step off the cliff where you don't see anything, and you don’t fall.”

This idea of not seeing what’s on the other side, not knowing what’s below, but knowing that you will get across - that is embracing uncertainty with a deep knowing, or faith, that the universe is holding you and giving you space to flow and to grow. I would argue that the best things in life come to you when you get comfortable with that uncomfortable feeling of uncertainty, and through a deep faith in Self, embrace change.

When you think of yourself and your life today, I can fathom a guess that there are aspects that you could never have planned for, never could have imagined, or even hoped would turn out this way. Just a couple of months ago when I got off of the plane in Sydney, I had never even heard of Byron Bay where I now live. If you talked to me a year ago, and told me that in less than a years time I would be a certified yoga teacher living in Australia, I would have thought you were mad. As I write this now, I have absolutely no idea where I will be in life in a few months time, let alone a year, or ten. And let me tell you, that feels absolutely magical.

Uncertainty is a blessing. Is opportunity and possibility. Uncertainty leads us to places that our minds don’t yet have the capacity to imagine or predict or desire, because we don’t know that they even exist yet. Uncertainty is openness. Openness to the gifts of the universe and the souls that cross our paths. Uncertainty is expansion. Uncertainty is freedom.

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Here are 3 tools, 2 journaling prompts, and 1 affirmation for navigating & reframing uncertainty:

1.     Grounding

• Through food – Eating root vegetables (carrots, potatoes, beets, etc) and carbohydrates like rice or fresh sourdough bread

• Spending time in nature

• Being barefoot in the grass, sand, dirt

• A meditation practice:

  • Take a deep breath. In through your nose and out through your mouth. With a soft gaze, take in your surroundings. Notice 5 things you can see, 4 things you can touch, 3 things you can hear, 2 things you can smell, and 1 thing you can taste. I am present in this moment.

  • When meditating, keep the palm of your hands on your knees, as opposed to facing upwards. Palms touching your body and facing down are grounding, whilst upward facing palms are openness

2.     Create structure

• Daily routine – create a morning & nighttime routine that you can honor everyday, including a mindfulness practice

  • Eat meals at the same time each day

• Living situation – when possible, having a stable and comfortable place to rest your head at night can be extremely helpful in easing the mind

3.     Gratitude!!

Think about or write down 3 things you are grateful for each morning when you wake and at night before you fall asleep. This is also a great thing to do at random moments throughout your day. Eventually, through consistent practice, you will rewire your brain to default to gratitude over negativity.

Be specific in your gratitude-

• For example, as I write this from a café in Melbourne, I am grateful for the cool breeze coming in through the window, for the delicious frothiness of the almond milk in my flat white, and that the playlist is absolutely banging.

Especially when going through turbulent times, a gratitude practice is invaluable in keeping us observant and appreciative of the beauty in life.

Journaling prompts:

1. When was the last time something didn’t go as planned? What was the outcome and what did you learn from the experience or what gift did it give you?

2. Envision yourself in 20 years…looking back at this moment how would you speak to yourself about the uncertainty that you are facing?

Affirmation:

I am grounded in the present moment and am open to all opportunities and possibilities that come my way.

With love from Melbourne,

Laura x

Leave a comment! I’d love to hear about your thoughts and your relationship with uncertainty.